Theme song of my life
by Hannah-Belle Dudemister
Summary: A Twilight song fic with Paramore's "Adore" Edward's POV of the scene in the meadow.


**Okay, so I had this idea for a one shot song fic, at like 2 in the morning, while I was tossing and turning listening to Paramore. It's a Twilight fic with the song "Adore". I know "Decode" was written for Twilight or something like that but I think that "Adore" fits better. This is not set after any of the books but in the middle of the first one. It's when they are in the meadow. I'm sorry for any OOC that might occur and I am going to cut a bit of dialogue. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and a lot of the wording in this is actually from the book. All the dialogue is anyway. I also don't own Paramore as much as I would like to.**

Edward POV:

Bella leaned forward, closer to my face, I guessed she had caught my scent again and wanted to inhale more of it. It was too much. Too intoxicating. I had to get away before I could kill her. I moved and, as if instantaneous, was standing twenty feet away next to a giant fir tree. I could see the hurt and the shock on her face. Why was I such a monster? I didn't mean to hurt her, to run. I almost smiled, it reminded me of the Paramore song I had been listening to this morning.

**I don't mean to run.  
But every time you come around I feel more alive than ever. **

I did feel more alive, in more ways than one. Of course my system got excited over her smell, the steady pulse of blood in her veins, getting ready for action. But I also felt more alive, like I was human again. How could I possibly hurt someone who made me feel like that. Alive again.

"I'm... sorry... Edward," She whispered, knowing I could hear.

"Give me a moment," I called back, louder, for her ears.

**And I guess it's too much, maybe we're too young and I don't even know what's real.  
**

How could any of this be real? How could I have really met a girl (a human!) that made me feel this way.

**But I know I never wanted anything so bad.  
I've never wanted anyone so bad.**

That was true enough in both ways also. On the one hand, her blood had a scent that sang to me, made me want her more than anything else in the world. On the other, I've never wanted to simply be around anyone so bad before, not even my family! Oh, how did I get my self into this? I was in love, a dangerous place for a vampire to be in the best of times. But could I let her love me? Would she break my, previously thought, unbreakable stone heart? Could she be that girl who I would have gotten down on one knee for if I had met her in my human life? I thought about the next line in the song and how fitting it was for my existence.

**If I let you love me.  
Be the one adored.  
Would you go all the way?  
And be the one I'm looking for.  
If I let you love me.  
Be the one adored  
Would you go all the way?  
Be the one I'm looking for.**

I had to believe that she would be, that she must be. I slowly walked back to where she was sitting. She looked like I had been standing over there for an hour or two but it must have only been ten seconds.

"I am so very sorry." I hesitated. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?" Hah! Only human, my little joke. She nodded one, trying to smile, but I smelt the sudden influx of adrenaline in her veins. She was finally scared of me. How horrible it was to be a deadly monster. My smile turned mocking.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my _smell. _As if I need any of that!" I would make her run away from me, tell me to never see her again. Scare her. I bounded away to the huge fir tree again.

"As if you could out run me." I laughed bitterly.

I reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk. I threw it with blinding speed, it shattered against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow. I darted back to stand in front of her, standing stiller than usual, with my human charade lost.

"As if you could fight me off," I said gently. She looked more afraid than I have ever seen her. Good. No! Bad! What was I doing! I loved this woman and I was trying to scare her off? There must have been something clinically wrong with me . I thought of the next line in the song.

**Help me come back down  
From high above the clouds. **

**You know I'm suffocating, **

**But I blame this town.**

I truly needed help. Her help. I was going crazy, with my head in the clouds, she needed to bring me back down. It was all the town's fault. If she had never come here. If we had never come here, this would never have happened. But I loved her. I had never felt this way about anybody else before, not even close. I couldn't deny that. That thought almost had me smiling again as it brought me back to the, seemingly, theme song of my life.

**And why do I deny **

**the things that burn inside down deep**

**I'm barely breathing.  
But you just see a smile. **

It highlighted nicely the way I try not to breath when she's around, but have to continue to smile. Always keeping up the façade. But if this was the path I was choosing then I had to get used to her smell. All these thoughts were running through my head as we talked, I explained what had happened on that first week of our first meeting, the way her blood was much more appetising than any other's. Then she was asking what she did wrong before, when I ran. What she did!? She was blaming herself, what an odd creature she was.

"But," she said. "I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

"Well..." I contemplated for a moment. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness... I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your _throat_." I stopped short, had I upset her?

"Okay, then" She said flippantly and I could tell that she was trying to get rid of the suddenly tense atmosphere. She tucked her chin in. "No throat exposure." It worked, I had to laugh at that.

"No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else."

I should let this go, let her go. I wasn't good for her. I should leave. But what if I could do it? What if I could be close to her without killing her? I had to know if I could.

**And I don't want to let this go.  
Really, I just want to know. **

I raised a hand and placed it gently on the side of her neck. She sat very still. Her skin was so warm, suiting her personality.

"You see," I said, feeling emotions that were long buried beneath my new life. "Perfectly fine."

Her blood was racing and I could hear her heart pounding, surprisingly, my vampiric urges had taken the back seat for a moment. I could see her blush and it was the most beautiful thing in the world at that time.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I murmured. I softly brushed her cheek and then held her face between my marble hands.

"Be very still." I whispered. If I could do this, be close to her, maybe I wouldn't have to leave after all...

Slowly I leaned toward her and rested my cheek in the warm hollow at the bottom of her throat. I made sure that I breathed as much of her scent in as I could, so as to get used to it. I skimmed my nose across her collar bone and then rested the side of my face against her chest, listening to her heart. I sighed, it was a wonderful sound. As we sat there I couldn't help but think that maybe she could be the one. Maybe I could let her love me, it may have been to late, anyway.

**If I let you love  
Be the one adored.  
Would you go all the way?  
And be the one I'm looking for.  
If I let you love me.  
Be the one adored.  
Would you go all the way?  
Be the one I'm looking for.**

It was too late now, we were in too deep. I loved her and there was nothing I could do other than relinquish this silly battle and let her love me back. I couldn't leave now.

**If I let you love  
Be the one adored.  
Would you go all the way?  
And be the one I'm looking for.  
If I let you love me.  
Be the one adored.  
Would you go all the way?  
Be the one I'm looking for **

I had to believe that she would be, that she could love me back and I wasn't just the object of a school girl crush. Yes. I could do it, there was no other choice. Right, Paramore was now my favourite band...

**Before anybody points this out to me, I know that at the time that Twilight was set, Paramore probably didn't have this song out but give me some poetic license! I tried to keep it as close to the book as possible so maybe get out your copies and check! Thanks for reading :D**

**R&R? Virtual cookies for reviewers!**


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